Posts tagged with 'tit feeding'

Le’ Bubble

  • Posted on January 8, 2010 at 2:02 am

Breastfeeding 1

Okay boys and girls, gather ‘round close while I tell you a very scary story. It’s about an insane bitch I used to work with called “Crazy P.” Crazy P had around twenty kids that she’d either pushed out her vadge or adopted from Korea. On the surface, Crazy P looked like a very attentive and loving mother. But, as we all know, looks can be VERY deceiving.

For you see, boys and girls, Crazy P loved to breastfeed. And when I say she loved to breastfeed, I mean she would NOT wean her kids. Her youngest son at the time, Joey, was in KINDERGARTEN and still latching on to her titties. In fact, he could even ask for it by the cute little nickname he’d given it, The Bubble. Crazy P would go so far as to sleep in the same be with him at night and wake him up for regular feedings. Creepy, right? Isn’t that how Norman Bates turned into a psycho?

Now, let me state for the record, I am 100% in favor of breastfeeding. I think it’s the healthiest thing you can do for your child. However, I am also making this statement having never breastfed and I’ve heard it’s like sticking hot needles into one’s titties, so I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. What I am NOT in favor of is breastfeeding your child till the point they can actually ask for it, unhook your bra, and latch their happy-ass on your nip.

At what point does breastfeeding cross the line into a form of child abuse? Little Joey is now a teen and, shockingly, has all sorts of behavioral problems. One time he even hit Crazy P across the face with a baseball bat and he’s also been kicked out of several schools. Yeah, this kid’s not going to have issues with women AT ALL. Way to go “Mother of the Year!” I’m glad Crazy P took what should have been a great bonding experience between a mother and a child and twisted it until it was something perverted and sadistic.

All I know is, as soon as my kid starts looking at me funny, we’re done with the boob. DONE. I don’t want to be responsible for any future serial killers/pedophiles. The world already has it’s fill of sick bastards.

Top