And This Little Piggy Had The Flu…

• Posted on April 28, 2009 at 3:48 am

I had a very busy weekend involving an out of town guest staying with me, a surprise 50th birthday party, work and ,of course, Bea Arthur’s death. How I completely missed all the news about the “swine flu” is beyond me. When I got to work today, my friend/manager was FREAKING OUT about it. What the hell is it? She could only offer me a few sketchy details which didn’t leave me much to go on. In fact, I now have more questions than answers.

Is this shit like “mad cow disease?” Do you get it from eating pork? If so, I’m safe because I haven’t eaten pork or red meat since I was 14 years old. Suck it carnivores! I don’t understand how it started in Mexico. Do they even have swine livng there? For some reason, I always pictured Mexico full of mules. And by mules, I mean drug mules Anyway, we haven’t had any reported cases here in Illinois so I feel safe…for now. I bet all those college kids who went to Cancun for Spring Break are shitting themselves at this very moment.

Hopefully, this all blows over soon and in the meantime, I’m going to Google “swine flu” so I’m up on all the symptoms and I can drive myself crazy every time I sneeze wondering if it’s just my allergies or if I’m going to die. Great, what a lovely way to kick off my week. Oh Jesus, I just had a thought…what if this is what killed Bea Arthur?!

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