Soup or Salad?

• Posted on July 1, 2009 at 1:32 am

I believe the world is divided into two kinds of people…those who order soup before their meal and those who order salad. I think the soup people should be hunted down like the filthy beasts they are, chopped into tiny, bacon-bit like pieces, then sprinkled on top of salads everywhere.

I feel this way for several reasons. First of all, most soups are disgusting. It’s like eating bits of hot, soggy food. Secondly, if the soup is too hot, then you burn both your tongue AND the roof of your mouth, hence rendering your taste buds useless for at least three days. Third, salad goes well with any season. It’s refreshing in the summertime and filling in the winter. Soup, on the other hand, is really only an acceptable food in the winter. I shudder to think what kind of person would voluntarily eat soup on a 90 degree day in July. Oh, the humanity!

In conclusion, salad people are an amazingly awesome God-like species and soup people are retarded pedophiles. If any soup people feel the need to leave a comment defending their disgusting life choice, I will find out where you live and throw scolding hot soup in your face. Thank you.

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