We Could Certainly Party With The Haitians

• Posted on January 16, 2010 at 3:17 am

“So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much. “

Cher from the movie “Clueless”

My sister works for Cars.com and she and her sales team won a trip to the Dominican Republic for being the best sales people ever or something like that ( I wasn’t really paying attention when she told me why she was going). She was very much looking forward to having fun in the sun while the rest of us snowbirds in Illinois suffered through sub-zero temperatures.

They left last week and everything was fine and dandy. That is, until a devastating earthquake hit Haiti causing one of the worst natural disasters to ever hit planet earth. You would think my family would be worried sick because the Dominican Republic is connected to the same island as Haiti, but luckily for us, none of us realized this geographical fact.

Even when she put out a message on her Facebook stating that she was safe and okay, we were all like, “Um, why did she write this?” In fact, my first reply to her status was, “Hope you’re having a blast!” Am I a fucking idiot or what? It wasn’t until my mom called me (she finally figured it out) that I put two and two together. I quickly went back and deleted my comment and added the more thoughtful, “I’m so glad you are safe!”

Am I ashamed that no one in my family knows where the hell any countries are at? Absolutely not, because ignorance is bliss and if I had known the two countries were right next to each other I would have been worried sick. By the way, she and her team were fine and made it home yesterday safe and sound.

Now, if you don’t want to be a total douche, then make a donation to one of the many organizations that are heading up relief efforts in Haiti. A very easy thing to do (I just did it) is to text the word “Haiti” to 90999. This will send a $10 donation to The Red Cross and it shows up on your next phone bill. I Googled it first, just to make sure it was legit, and it is. In fact, The Red Cross had already raised more than 8 million dollars by doing this. A couple of minutes after you send the text, they send a text back and you reply “Yes” to confirm. That’s it!

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