Posts tagged with 'losers'

Warning: You’re About To Date A Loser!

  • Posted on February 23, 2009 at 4:53 am

Here’s a fun-filled list of SIX major red flags I missed when I dated a guy named “B” a few years ago. [Author's note- his name is not really the letter B. I am trying to be somewhat nice and protect his identity.] Okay, I didn’t really miss these warning signs. I chose to ignore them because he was cute and looked a bit like CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who I was hot for at the time.

#1. He could not drive because he had gotten a DUI, THEN got caught driving on his suspended license. Dumb-ass.

#2. He was residing in what he referred to as his sister’s “finished basement.” That implied that it was somewhat nice. No, it was not. It was a BASEMENT! With a bed. And it smelled. Like shit.

#3. “B” had a variety of pill bottles lying around that his therapist/father (!) prescribed to him. What the hell? Is that even legal or ethical? Was “B” the inspiration for the movie “Garden State?”

#4. Bi-Polar. Enough said.

#5. He owned his own business. Great! Fucked his secretary. Bad!

#6. Married his high school sweetheart. How sweet. Eight years later, they got divorced… but kept having sex…she got pregnant…they got re-married…oops, she miscarried…divorce #2!

Wow, he was a hot mess. Maybe I’m a bigger hot mess for dating him. In my defense, it only lasted two months. The sad thing is HE broke up with ME the day after I helped him move into his new apartment. Motherfucker.

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