An Open Letter To Kate Gosselin

• Posted on January 11, 2010 at 2:13 am

Kate, Kate, Kate…who the hell talked you into getting this abomination? Your weave looks about as real as my Malibu Barbie’s tits. Why do you need a makeover, anyway? I say, “Embrace you inner bitch!” Buzz that shit off and go hardcore! Maybe juice things up with a few strategically placed piercings. Can we say “post divorce tat?”

Hey, it’s not your fault your ex-husband was a worthless loser. You were the backbone of that marriage! Without you, that fat ass has gone back to smoking, lost his job, had his apartment vandalized and surely caught a slew of STD’s by now.

Kate, you just keep your head up and shout from the rooftops, “I’m a bitch and proud of it!” A REAL man will be able to appreciate you and your former reverse-mullet.. Now do me a favor and get that thing cut out of your hair before it becomes a tangled rat’s nest…oh, too late.

Snip snip,
Brooke Amanda

Read “An Open Letter To Kate Gosselin’s Weave” Over At The Open Letters Blog! Yeah, I felt so passionate about this topic I wrote TWO letters about it.

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