Posts tagged with 'Getting Torn A New Shithole'

Ask And Ye Shall Be Torn A New One

  • Posted on January 6, 2010 at 3:33 am

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Ask And Ye Shall Receive

If you are a blogger and would like to whittle away any remaining shreds of self-confidence you have, then by all means submit your blog for a review at “Ask And Ye Shall Receive.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking this site…I’m hooked on it like a cracky to his pipe!

They are brutally honest and make no apologies for it, which I respect (it takes a bitch to know a bitch), but DAMN they can be harsh! They pick apart not only the content of a blog, which is obviously the most important part, but also the layout, color scheme, font, ect.. And God forbid if you have too many badges cluttering your blog…they HATE badges, in particular any of the Humor Blogger badges (so I guess I would be screwed because I’m a member of HB). Some of the reviewers are kinder than others, so if you’re lucky you may get off with just a slighty wounded ego and not a full blown ass-shredding.

That being said, the bloggers who get an unfavorable review need to suck it up and realize that they got exactly what they asked for in the first place. The URL for the site is http://iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com. What in the holy hell did you think was going to happen? They even have a warning on the “Submit Your Blog” page which states:

“Okay. Having read the FAQ, you need to realize that if you now subsequently submit your shitty-assed blog to our site, with its ugly black letters on top of a pea-green background, we are going to rip you a new hole to shit through. I’m not joking here. You will get reamed. It’s a promise. After the reaming, you will be redirected to the FAQ. You know, the one you should have read BEFORE submitting.”

If, after reading this, you do in fact submit your shitty- ass blog and they do as promised and rip you a new poop-hole, don’t leave comment after comment bitching about it. Remember, YOU WILLINGLY SUBMITTED YOUR BLOG TO THIS KIND OF SCRUTINY! It just makes that particular blogger look like a whiney- ass baby who needs to spend more time improving their content and less time crying about it.

And that’s precisely why I will NEVER, EVER submit my blog for a review. I prefer to live in my own delusional world and think my blog, much like myself, is absolutely freakin’ perfect and there is not a damn thing I could do to improve it. Not a damn thing!

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