Those Little Red Buckets…
As I step out of my car, I can hear a familiar sound echoing in the distance. It starts out faintly, but as I walk towards the store, it gets louder and louder. I start to get those nervous butterflies in my stomach and I am now breaking out in a cold sweat. The sound of jingle bells grows louder and louder with each step. Is that Santa working those bells? Hell no. It’s some pissed off guy, who’s freezing, standing beside a Salvation Army bucket.
I am now about eight feet away from Mr. Jingles. I HATE this part more than anything. There is no way I can get into the store without walking directly by him. I tell myself, “Don’t make eye contact. Just keep your head down and keep walking.” I can feel Jingles judging me, as his gaze burns a hole in my winter coat. He purposefully starts ringing his bell even harder as I walk by. He says, “Merry Christmas!,” but I know he’s really saying, “Screw you for not putting any money in my bucket, bitch!”
Dear God, how many times do I have to relive this scenario in the course of a holiday season?! Those freaking buckets are EVERYWHERE! If I donated to every single one that I passed by while running errands and shopping, I would be broke. This year, I decided to take a stand and only donate to the one at my grocery store. I decided that, no matter what, I would give them something every time I was there. So, like most people, I take a $1 bill and fold it over enough times to where it looks like I’m actually giving a whole stack of money. Suckers!
Seriously though, does the Salvation Army need to stake people out at EVERY Schnuck‘s, Cub Foods, Jewel, Walgreens, CVS Pharmacy, Macy’s, Carson’s, JC Penney’s, Sears, Best Buy, Big Lot’s, Sam’s Club, Target, Wal-Mart, Meijer’s, K-Mart (okay, you get the idea), within a 10 mile radius of where I live? Have they heard of something called “overkill?” I would be more apt to give a few big donations instead of pulling my dollar trick, if they would ease up and put out less buckets. And who are they getting to ring those bells? I’m really starting to think some people had a community service obligation they needed to fulfill from a past DUI/petty crime conviction because they DO NOT look happy to be there.
I would also like a present of some sort for my donation. Nothing fancy, possibly a tiny candy cane or a Hershey’s kiss, just something so that I know the Salvation Army really appreciates my dollar. And maybe they could stop with the bell ringing altogether. I mean, we can SEE you! You’re loitering in front of a tall red bucket contraption IN FRONT of the door I need to walk in, for Christ’s sake! Do my ears need to be assaulted with incessant ringing, too?! I think not.
In summation, Salvation Army, you need fewer buckets, more presents to give away, and less bell ringing. I have every confidence that this fine organization will take my suggestions to heart and turn things around in time for next year. In the meantime people, keep your heads down and DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT!
yea…I hate that feeling makes you feel like a horrible person when you walk out with your basket of stuff…usually I dont carry cash so its always, “Oh sorry, I don’t have cash on me!” But now, the Salvation Army has installed those little red buckets with credit card readers on them. Oh yes, its all over.
You are correct my friend, the majority of the volunteers are serving community service. How do I know this? A few years ago while leaving Kmart in B-Town I was called a bitch when I did not donate. I turned around and politely asked the bell ringer to repeat what they said to make sure I heard correctly and she once again called me a bitch. I went home left a voicemail for the Salvation Army. The next day I recieved an apology via telephone and explained that she was serving community service and her sponsor that was with her should have never allowed it to happen. Because of this I am ver weary to donate. I was going to drop some change as I exited a Walgreen’s last week and then saw the bell ringer bumming a ciggie so I kept my change in my pocket. Merry Christmas!
Stephanie- Are you kidding me..they now have credit card machines?! This is not good, not good at all!
Maria- I KNEW it! I thought Mr. Jingles looked a wee bit shady.
Oh yes, buckets with credit card/debit card readers. Which makes what Maria said that much worse, I doubt my credit card information or anything like that would be safe with someone heckling passersby and calling them names for not donating. I wanted to link you some of the information about these new spiffy card readers they have :/
http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/11/25/cash-or-charge-salvation-armys-iconic-red-buckets-now-take-pla/
http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2009/11/30/salvation-army-now-takes-kindness-in-plastic-in-select-cities/
I used to hate having to pass the bell ringers, but I just don’t care anymore. I donate to charity through other means. Yeah, the bell ringers don’t know that, but I do and that’s what matters.
It’s even worse when you do give a dollar or whatever to one guy on one corner, then you pass another and he doesn’t know that you gave money to the other guy. So you’re just some selfish bitch in a Burberry scarf who is too good to give to charity. You should get a sign or a sticker like (I voted today!) to wear when you donate because the 30 seconds and 1 block later I feel good about myself are essentially washed away by the stink eye I get from the next guy with the bucket.