Soup or Salad?
I believe the world is divided into two kinds of people…those who order soup before their meal and those who order salad. I think the soup people should be hunted down like the filthy beasts they are, chopped into tiny, bacon-bit like pieces, then sprinkled on top of salads everywhere.
I feel this way for several reasons. First of all, most soups are disgusting. It’s like eating bits of hot, soggy food. Secondly, if the soup is too hot, then you burn both your tongue AND the roof of your mouth, hence rendering your taste buds useless for at least three days. Third, salad goes well with any season. It’s refreshing in the summertime and filling in the winter. Soup, on the other hand, is really only an acceptable food in the winter. I shudder to think what kind of person would voluntarily eat soup on a 90 degree day in July. Oh, the humanity!
In conclusion, salad people are an amazingly awesome God-like species and soup people are retarded pedophiles. If any soup people feel the need to leave a comment defending their disgusting life choice, I will find out where you live and throw scolding hot soup in your face. Thank you.
Hey Brooke, how do you really feel?
No soup for you! How dare you come after The Soup Nation. I am hereby appointing myself Supreme Galactic Overlord of All Things Soup. And you can throw scolding hot soup on me if you life, I eat so much soup and have burned myself so many times, I no longer feel anything anymore! SO HA! I think I’m going to Olive Garden now and getting A Never Ending Soup Bowl to spite lower life forms of Salad Nation, which is a 3rd world nation by the way. I’m going to Panera Bread and insist they remove all salads from their menu. If they don’t, then the Soup Nation will go after their advertisers. Soup has gotten us through a Depression. You didn’t see any “salad lines” in the 1930’s did you. No, I didn’t think so. Again, and I so elquoently said once, SO HA!….ok, I would go on, but Mrs. Salty Peters is telling me that my Chicken Ceasar Salad is ready. Yay!
Ordinarily I’m not big on soup but, in the summer, I find no food as refreshing as a delightful bowl of gazpacho. Yummy crisp veggies chilled to perfection.
Guess you didn’t know you consider one of the people who eat soup on a 90 degree days one of your good friends.
Salad is dumb. Why not just go out back and eat the yard?
wow… i’m really glad i’m a salad person because it would downright suck to all of a sudden find out i’m a retarded pedophile.
You can throw scalding hot soup in my face any day as long as it’s Desthil’s Cheese Lager soup… that shit is the shit. Just wish they would give you a chunk of bread with it so I could soak up every last drop of it and stuff it into my retarded pedophile face while I watch the little kid at the table next to me eat his happy meal. He’s kinda cute…
But honestly… I’m a big soup and salad girl so what does that make me? A Godlike Retard… and Awesome Pedophile? I’m confused and hungry.
Man, you take your first courses seriously, don’t you. I won’t get you started on dessert.
Salty- I had no idea there was a whole “Soup Nation!” Is it anything like “The Soup” on E!
Dave- Gazpacho is cold soup, but still soggy and disgusting nonetheless.
Airmay- I’m not talking to you anymore
Shawn- I DO eat the yard! Ha!
Foxy- Yeah, being a retarded pedophile would suck.
Val- The only acceptable soup is tomato with grilled cheese on a winter’s day OR Red Oak’s spinach bisque! And yes, you are a Godlike pedophile.
Dave- That’s a good idea! Anything chocolate will do!
mmmmmm… spinach bisque. I haven’t had that in YEARS. It’s so freakin good.
salad tossers unite!
Val- Just had it this past weekend and it was great!
Ryan- Lets start our own union!