Revenge Of The Nerds
During my early twenties, I attended my fair share of 21st birthday celebrations. The following account is the WORST party I went to…ever.
A guy I barely knew, I think his name was Dane, was turning 21. He was a friend of a friend so somehow I got invited to the birthday festivities. Even though Dane and his circle of friends were a bit nerdy (they were all computer majors…probably rich now) I thought, “What the hell? This could be fun.”
His friends had rented out a condo (where the hell they got the money to do this, I have no idea) and got two kegs. This is the scene I walked into: an underwhelming 10 people singing “The Barbie Song” (remember that gem) on a micro phone that was hooked up to a laptop, not a karaoke machine. Vic, the host of this nightmare, was running around putting towels on the carpet so nothing would spill on them, and another guy was walking around with a mini tape recorder. Yes, a MINI TAPE RECORDER. Were they going to LISTEN to highlights of the party after it was over?
Then the bathroom door opened and I got to witness the birthday boy vomiting all over himself. NICE. He then passed out in the bedroom and I didn’t see him again for the rest of the night. At least they didn’t make me pay for a cup. The fun kept right on rolling when I was introduced to the guy who had rented the condo out for Dane and company.
He went by the name “Spock.” No, I’m not making that up. Spock went to a community college for three years and a state school for 5 years. He wasn’t even graduating until the following December. Hmm, let’s see, he was 25 years old, he’d been in college for eight straight years and he wasn’t pre-med. Oh, and he still lived in the dorms. Ding, ding, ding…we have a winner!
I had two beers and got the hell out of there ASAP. The whole thing was like a scene right out of “Revenge of The Nerds.” Not that I was super cool in college, but…a mini tape recorder?! Seriously?
You didn’t happen to grow up in Ohio did you?
IL, but same difference
Oh you missed the best part! After you left, Spock busted out his kazoo and did a spot on rendition of the Imperial March from Star Wars. Good times, good times.
Wow… I’d forgotten all about that. You know Vic actually went to grade school with Andy? I came across his picture in a yearbook and was like, “Wow… I kinda know that guy.” Andy said he punch him in the stomach once for no reason. One of the many many reasons I love that guy. =)
PS… If I’m thinking of the right person, Spock also had a full Superman costume he wore around the dorm for fun.
at least you didnt go home with any of them and wake up on their front lawn wrapped in a shit-stained sheet.
Man, you cool kids have all the fun. I would have been stuck at home watching the real Spock on reruns. Sigh.
Shawn- I KNEW that party was going to liven up after I left…damn it!
Val- I LOVE the fact that Andy kicked Vic’s ass
And yes, I do recall Spock having a Superman costume.
Ryan- That goodness for the little things in life!
Dave- Trust me, you probably had a better time at home. This party was PAINFUL.