I Heart Earth Day…And I’m Not Even A Dirty Hippie
I wasn’t born yet, but I’m pretty sure when Earth Day was originally founded back in the 70’s, it was probably a bunch of patchouli smelling hippies holding hands around a newly planted sapling. We’ve come a long way, baby. Now, Earth Day is more likely to be celebrated by WASPY yuppies in their oh-so-environmentally friendly Prius…assholes. Actually, I’m just jealous, because if I could afford a Prius, my wannabe ass would be looking down my nose at all you gas-guzzling bitches. I like feeling superior to people. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside.
So…I can’t afford an expensive electric car, so what else can I do to celebrate Earth Day? Oh my, I think I just had an epiphany! Shouldn’t we be celebrating Earth Day (wait for it)…EVERYDAY?! Sweet Jesus, I know we need to be doing something to clean up this roach motel we call Earth. We’ve populated it to maximum capacity, we’ve polluted it worse than a frat house after a kegger, and ONE DAY a year is supposed to make up for it. I DON’T THINK SO. Mother Nature is like an abused housewife who gets the shit beat out of her for overcooking the pot roast, so I, for one, am going to be taking some steps to clean up this hell hole. Okay, baby steps.
For starters, I have started using all those Clorox “Green Works” products and they actually do a really good job. I also bought a bunch of bags to use when I go to the grocery store. Granted, I forget them in my car trunk EVERY FUCKING TIME, but still, the thought is there. I’m fairly certain that my toliet is low-flow because if I take a big pooh, I usually have to flush a couple of times to get it all down. Hmm…not sure if that is hurting or helping the cause.
The big thing I would like to start doing is recycling. In fact, I’m going to look into it RIGHT NOW. And one day, when I become illegitimately knocked up, I will use cloth diapers! And breast feed so I don’t have to buy bottles! And have an orgasmic water birth! Okay, I don’t think that really helps the environment, but I think it looks really cool.
We do recycle here, but we always forgot those cloth bags too every F—ing time. It’s like I get there and go, “Oh, sh**”. It wouldn’t be so bad except most of the time I walk to the store because The Wife has our car, and I’m not walking back a mile just for the Earth. Screw that.
I have a few plants in my closet. I’m sure that’s helping in some way.
LMAO at Shawn. Smoke em if ya got em.
DUDE – seriously every freakin time i go to the stupid store, i forget my green bags. And i have a shitload of them just waiting to help the earth. Good intentions only go so far, i guess.
Have fun with those cloth diapers.
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that forgets those bags!
Shawn- I think you would share your plants with me
Carol- I’m sure I’ll give up after they shit in the first one and I need to rinse it out!
I would give anything to have a Prius! My boyfriend’s mom has one and they’re great.
I agree, we need to take better care of our planet. It’s the only one we have.
Recycling is easy! I’d estimate that about 90% of items we throw away can be recycled.
Do you know about the “Great Garbage Patch” in the Pacific Ocean? There is a trash heap that spans from the coast of California to the coast of Japan, 90 feet deep in some places. It’s very disturbing. If you want to know more, here is a website (or just Google Great Garbage Patch): http://www.greatgarbagepatch.org/