Good Vibrations
Eden Fantasys
Life According To Candice
Grimace, My First True Love
There is a moment in every woman’s life that will change her forever. A moment when a new door is opened and suddenly, the world looks a little brighter. I am referring, of course, to the moment when a woman gets her first dildo.
Even though I used my mom’s “neck massager” from the time I was 8 years old pretty much until middle school (when it finally broke) I didn’t actually have a vibrator of my own until college. I received it as a “Secret Santa” present from my friend/co-worker, Molly. And yes, I was at work when she gave it to me. I’ll never forget unwrapping it as I was standing at the fragrance counter in the department store where we worked. The counter was surrounded by customers when I pulled out this giant purple faux cock. Molly was even thoughtful enough to have pre-inserted the batteries for me. She must have sensed I was going to use it IMMEDIATLEY when I got home.
My purple cock eventually earned the nickname “Grimace” after the big purple McDonald’s character. Over the years, my friends have given me different presents as a homage to Grimace. I have a small stuffed Grimace toy (that came with a Happy Meal) and a very phallic-looking purple vase. Grimace died a few years ago, but his spirit lives on. I now have a flesh-colored vibe and a pink one, too. But a girl never forgets her first BOB (battery operated boyfriend).
Grimace took me to amazing and wondrous places in my own body that I didn’t even know existed. He was powerful, yet tender. Demanding, yet gentle. Oh, and he made me cum like a porn star in under 5 minutes, which was the real reason I used and abused him. Boyfriends would get jealous, but I would let them know that my heart was big enough for two men in my life. They either had to get onboard or get the fuck off (no pun intended).
When it was finally time to lay Grimace to rest, I said a silent vow to never try and replace him with another purple cock and to this day I’ve kept my promise. Fleshy and Pinky just aren’t the same, but I will always cherish the memories of Grimace and myself, writhing in an ecstasy filled romp.
Author’s Note:
This post was inspired by a contest on one of my new favorite blogs, “Life According To Candice.” And no, this is not my good friend Candice L., this is another very funny Candice who lives in Dallas, TX. If you love my blog, I PROMISE you will love her’s, too. She shares my “no social filter” approach to blogging. Check her blog out at the link above. Also, check out Eden Fantasys if you’re feeling frisky and need a new “toy.”
I’m glad to see there are others out there who nickname their toys.
i had to stop by after i seen your comment on candice’s blog and im so glad i did your post about “grimace” was awesome! i read ur blog to my husband we both chuckled abit while reading it
i myself personally corrupted all my girlfriends back in highschool taking them for their first time/s to the sex stores in sydney! And none of them turned back after that day LOL We even went to “sexpo” i huge sex expo held in sydney full of toys and their massco the “Penisaurus” which was a body of a t-rex and then the head of a penis! Anyway LOVED you post!
What are the odds that I’ve currently got a purple toy named “Barney”?
My toy before that was blue, but he died an early death. I figured it was time to toss him when the wires started to show and the base was hanging off. I didn’t want to fry my vagina beyond recognition.
Very nice post. Maybe you’ll be getting a new non-purple BOB soon.
R.I.P. pearl and the silver bullet….
I also had a purple friend who used size d batteries. It was the best!
Traci-Yes, I think naming your vibe makes it so much more personal! I think purple must be a popular color choice as well.
Candice- I’m keep my fingers crossed
KiraAJ- I will definitly be checking your blog out as well. Thanks for reading mine!
Ryan-Sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you have gotten replacements.
Carol- The ones that take the big batteries are the best!
Ok girls….”D” batteries…WOW, I think those were actually small kitchen appliances…..please be careful….I mean watch batteries, “AAA”, even “AA” I have seen (ok, owned!) BUT “D”…holy shit!
OK….I totally remember Grimace and all the shit we gave you about him..If I remember correctly, it was the hot topic of conversation in the department for QUITE some time. Ahhhhh…..the good old days!
I know! Good old Molly…usually Secret Santa presents are lame.
D is the greatest!!! You really should try it out!
I too remember Grimace!! He was the topic of much conversation! I had to chuckle to myself while reading this blog and remembering some of the conversations!!
Yes, Grimace is a living legend!