Toddlers & Tiaras
Has anyone seen the show “Toddlers & Tiaras” on TLC? I think a more fitting title would be “Cracked Out Stage Moms.” These women are CRAZY! The show follows different families competing in a variety of kiddie beauty pageants all over the country. I thought these kinds of things were only big in the South, but I was wrong. We just had one at my mall two weeks ago. It was very odd to see a three year old wearing a crown that measured the height of her entire body walking by the store.
The kids, for the most part, are actually quite normal when they’re not competing. It’s the damn parents that are off their rockers! Most of the moms are morbidly obese and heinously unattractive. It doesn’t take a therapist to know that they are trying to live vicariously through their daughters and it’s uncomfortable to watch, yet I can’t look away. The “cringe factor” is fairly high. For instance, there was a bizarre episode in which the mothers competed WITH their daughters (or against them, I’m still not sure). It was fascinating to watch. One hot mess of a mom got up there in a spandex body suit (and no, she was not in any shape to be wearing something like that) and twirled a baton. She thought the ceilings were higher than what they actually were and when she tossed the baton up, it came right back down and smacked her in the face. What a fucking train wreck!
Then there’s the FLAMING stage dad who choreographed all his two year old daughter’s dance routines…and he makes her costumes…and he’s married to a pretty hot woman. How this couple met, got married and procreated is way beyond me because this man definatly farts tiny rainbows. To top it off, his favorite color must be pink, because that’s the only color shirt he wore.
There’s also this bitch of a mom who’s daughter is stunning and has won a ton of crowns. The daughter is around ten years old and I feel like the mom is jealous of her. She CONSTANTLY critiques her and puts her down. Is she trying to give her daughter an eating disorder/drug problem/drinking problem? This poor girl is going to need major therapy one day.
I’d also like to know how the parents afford all the costumes, tanning sessions, fake teeth (they call them flippers), hair extensions, dance lessons, manicures, pedicures, make-up, etc… This stuff is NOT cheap and none of the families look remotely well-off. If I have a daughter, I will never put her through something like this. I’ll just enroll her in acting lessons and make her live out my dream of becoming a famous actress. I’m sure she’ll turn out fine, right?
I’ve never seen the show, but this post made me laugh out loud.
Great post!!
Thanks!! It is a site to behold, trust me. It’s on Tuesdays @ 9:00pm on TLC.
I stumbled on this show last week and watched an entire episode. It was covering a show in Georgia and was a train wreck. There was a scoring error and they crowned the wrong winner at the pageant. They followed up with a re-crowning of the true winner in her hometown in front of about 3 people. Of course, the mother of the wrongly crowned princess did not tell her daughter there was a mistake. She claimed she wouldn’t even know which pageant she was referring to, as if they had attended 30 more since the previous week. Whatever.
this is all kinds of fucked up….fake TEETH and TANNING for 5 year olds?! I have seen an episode of this and could NOT believe it….clearly the moms have NO life of their own and as Brooke pointed out they are all fat….
Yeah, WTF, those moms are whacked in the head. I just caught 1 episode as I was flipping through channels and OMG I could not look away. The dad you are talking about on that episode is a total flaming homosexual faggot. Seriously, he is a total peter puffer. My new favorite show!
Wow, this show sure does stir up strong feelings in people. I wonder if the backlash against kiddie pagents started with JonBenet Ramsey?
OUCH!! Who is Jme? As politically incorrect as your blog is Brooke, nothing you have said has offended me as much as Jme’s use of the term “faggot.”
Kelly….I must agree….”faggot” is not ok with me
My BFF is a gay man and I can laugh at gay humor but do we have to be ignorant?
Yes, I have to agree with Kelly & Colleen that the use of the word “faggot” is not cool. I have really good gay friends, too, and they would not ever be offended by anything I have written, but the use of that word would offend them. Lots of people read this blog that I don’t know and I really appreciate anyone leaving comments, but some things are just not kosher. I debated deleting the comment but chose to keep it b/c I do not want to censor anyone’s opinion. Maybe I was wrong in doing that?
I think it’s much more powerful to leave the offending post up and let Jme know how uncool his/her comments are. The beauty of a blog like this is that it gives anyone the opportunity to express themselves. If you choose to be an idiot in the process, then there are plenty of people who will be happy to let you know about it. Maybe Jme will learn from this, or maybe not.
my daughter is going to start playing the guitar soon because I always wanted to be a rockstar. Why am I busting my butt in college when she will buy me the house of my dreams in 15 years? If that fails, I have a boy I can make into a prfessional athelete. Kids are awesome.
I agree with Kelly……let him/her see what ignorant comments like that do and maybe it will bring about a change
Sara….great plans….these kids SHOULD fufill all of OUR dreams right?! LOL!
Sara- you’ve just inspired me to go out and get pregnant RIGHT NOW
I want a famous kid who will support one day, too!
Sara- since reading your post I can’t stop thinking about the different ways I could exploit my children for money!!! I am so excited! You may have just changed my life!
On another note…Do you thinke Jme could have been mislead by the fact that you said the dad was FLAMING. I know these aren’t comparable but I can see where a slippery slope may have begun. Wouldn’t calling a gay friend a flamer be kind of like calling a black friend ghetto? Both labels have negative conotations in mainstream society. Not that I was offended. But it may be a little hypocritical to attack someone for crossing a very blurry line. Just a thought…
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Carol- That’s a good point. Maybe Jme has gay friends and has used that term around them and they don’t mind. I know my gay friends use the word “flamer” as well as other colorful terms and they don’t care that I use them, too. Oh, and I have called my black friends “ghetto” before
I think most people that know me know that I talk out of my ass and I’m not serious if I use any terms like that. Now, the “N” word would be a different story… Def not cool to use that work ever.
Or Jme has no gay friends and does not realize that the N word and the F word are comparable just as flamer and ghetto are and thought that since you used flamer it was all good and threw the f word in not realizing there was difference. As I said it’s a fuzzy line. Havent called anyone ghetto.. have told Renee to “go ghetto” on parents who deserve it several times!! Especially the parents that don’t like their kids going to school with black kids. I always am amused when they see our black principal and they treat her like shit and she tells them to take it to our superintendant who is also black. (hee hee)
Or maybe Jme hates gay people and they deserve everything that has been said and more. I really need to talk to Patrick about all of this.